


Grass and Fairy Roses

by PotPrincess



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Firsts, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Romance, everyone will show up - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:08:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22942276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotPrincess/pseuds/PotPrincess
Summary: During his second year, the farmer chooses Shane as his partner for the Flower Dance. Alex, Briar’s self-appointed best friend, is decidedly Not Cool with it.Or, how the awkward gridball player finally scores.
Relationships: Alex/Male Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Male Player (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 72
Kudos: 321





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who’s back with a whole thing after two years?

One: 

It all starts at the flower dance.

Alex had never really been a fan of the festival. Typically, the only reason he enjoyed it was because it meant summer was around the corner. He could otherwise do without the stuffy clothes, the stiff, ritualistic way they were forced to dance, and the judgemental eyes of the townsfolk. He’d participated for years now, and the whole ordeal seemed little more than awkward. Still, he comes to perform his duties, assure that Haley is placated for the year with her unrivaled title of Flower Queen, and gorge himself on Gus’ buffet. It could be worse, he figures. 

This year starts like any other. He’s up at the crack of dawn because Haley wants to practice, even though they could both probably do this in their sleep at this point. They eat breakfast with his grandparents, all head over to the field, and Alex makes a beeline to an empty portion of fence after piling himself a plate. He’s in the process of stuffing his face and watching his neighbors roll in when Briar catches his attention. The farmer isn’t in his work clothes this year, he notices. Though, he’s not in their monkeysuits either, he’s dressed the nicest Alex has probably ever seen him in a button-down and clean jeans unmarred by the perpetual grass stains he wore like badges of honor. 

Alex figures that means he’ll be dancing this year, which makes sense, he guesses. Over the past year, he’d integrated himself fully into the Valley like he’s been here his entire life. Honestly, Alex considered him his best friend. He’d shared things--humiliating things--with the other man that he’d never been able to put into words with anyone else. From what he heard from pretty much everyone else, he had that effect on people. This time last year, they were all giving him weary glances as he made his rounds. Now, they all greeted him like an old friend. In fact, he’s pretty sure he can see some of the girls’ hands fly to the hair and dresses, fixing imagined imperfections in the hope that, maybe, he’d ask them to be his partner.

Haley, it seems, was not immune either. “Seriously?” He asks her as she fiddles with the hem of her skirts, smoothing out wrinkles. 

“Um, duh,” she says like it’s obvious. “I’d push you off a cliff for three minutes of those big, strong hands on me.”

“Wow. First of all, ouch.” Her words hurt, both his pride and his feelings, the blow only slightly lessened by how much he liked the guy. And how unlikely it was that he’d actually pick Haley. “Secondly, he won’t. It’s against bro code. Probably.” Probably not, but Briar was still too cool to leave him hanging without a date, he was sure. Though, he had no idea who he’d actually ask. Close as they were, the farmer had never spoken about anyone romantically. Not even in passing, or when Alex actively was. He never even alluded he was interested in any of that stuff at all, now that he was thinking about it. And he can’t even figure it out now because he makes a point to talk to everyone so, he figures he’ll just have to wait until it’s his turn.

“Emily said that Gus said that Pierre said that he was looking at bouquets the other day,” Haley mentions, voice low and hand cupped around her mouth, perfectly manicured nails glinting in the sunlight. Alex doesn’t bother to try hiding the dramatic rolling of his eyes. Small towns and all that. You couldn’t even sneeze in the Valley without everyone hearing about it. “And Penny said that Sam said that Sebastian said that his mom has been over at the farm constantly to upgrade his house.”

Alex scoffs, but he automatically searches for the farmer in the crowd. He finds him by the water’s edge, talking happily with Elliot and Leah. From the corner of his eye, he can see Pam start to head over with a mug that was dangerously full of the punch that Alex had never trusted enough to try and he grimaced in sympathy. Briar was too popular for his own good. And he was much too good for anyone here. “So what?” he asks. “Maybe he likes flowers and having space.” Still, he thinks of his nice clothes and brushed hair. Wonders if he still smells like grass and fairy roses and summer or if he’d used cologne today. For who? The thought is unwelcome, and he totally blames Haley, so he stuffs his face without looking at his plate. “...Who do you think he’ll ask?” he finally gets around a mouthful of pie, because he truly can’t figure it out. He’s pretty close with all the girls.

Haley gives a forlorn sigh, and when Alex looks at her, she’d been staring at Briar as well. He’s talking to Demetrius now, and Alex hopes that means he’ll be coming over to talk to them soon because the suspense is killing him. “I don’t know. Penny, maybe? You all seem to like her,” she says this motioning to him, figures she’s talking about the guys in general. Penny’s… cute? And she’s really nice, but while he has no real basis as to what it really is, he thinks she’s not Briar’s type. He shakes his head, and Haley seems to think about it further. “What about Abigail? She’s a little, uh, unconventional, but maybe he’s into that.”

Alex looks for the purple haired girl, finds her holding Sam in a headlock as she and Sebastian work towards dragging him towards a bed of flowers. He has actual tears on his face, and Alex is unsure if it’s because of his allergies or their treatment. “Nah,” Alex says, eyes drifting away from the scene. Maru? No, Briar was friends with Harvey. He was also friends with Clint, which eliminated Emily as well. So--

“Leah?” Haley asks, interrupting his train of thought. “I guess they’re both a little reclusive.” Honestly, Alex doesn’t know that much about Leah. She was pretty, he guessed, if you were into that sort of thing. He squints at her from across the field, tries to imagine Briar’s arms around her.

Suddenly not hungry anymore, Alex sets his mostly-empty plate down on a fence post. He feels a little sick, and hopes he doesn’t puke during the dance. “No.”

Haley clicks her tongue at him. “Ugh, you never like any of my ideas. Why did you bother asking me in the first place?” She looks away from him, but then whips her head back, a smile stretched wide across her face. “How do I look?” she asks excitedly, straightening her posture and tucking her hair behind her ears.

“Like you’re crazy,” he says, and she shoves him. You would think, with her being so much smaller than him, he’d be unaffected, but he’s caught off guard and stumbles back a few steps until he bumps into something solid. 

A pair of hands come up to rest on his sides. They’re warm and rough and Alex feels an embarrassing shiver begin to run up his spine and he turns quickly only to start tripping over his own feet again. He hears Briars laugh, and then his hands are gripping his biceps, attempting to steady him. “Whoa, chill out, dude,” the farmer says. Alex’s heart is pounding, likely given his sudden fright, but he does his best to return the bright smile Briar offers him. 

Haley doesn’t take long to sidle up to him, attempting to look casual as she tosses her long blonde tresses over her shoulder as she greets the black-haired man. “Hey, Bri. Don’t you look nice today--not a single tear or stain?” She places a hand over her chest dramatically, “Be still my heart.”

Briar has the good graces to laugh as he bows down in an exaggerated flourish, reaching out and taking Haley’s free hand. He presses his lips, still stretched into a grin, into her knuckles. “And you look as gorgeous as I have come to expect from you, my lady,” he says. Alex rolls his eyes when red begins to spread across her cheeks. 

“Why’re you so dressed up, anyway?” he asks, partly because he might get sick if he has to keep watching this, but mostly because he really can’t wait a moment more. Well, he knows it’s because he’s dancing, but he’s hoping it will naturally progress the conversation to where he wants it to go.

“Uh, you’re dressed up, too,” is his only answer as he straightens back up and motions to Alex. “I gotta admit, I’m kind of happy I don’t have to wear that, though. Looks hot.”

It’s true. Alex feels uncomfortably warm all of a sudden, now that Briar mentions it. And he’s always hated these outfits. “I’m already sweating. How’d you get out of it?”

Briar holds a finger up to his own mouth, parodying a secret. “I haven’t told Luis I was dancing yet.” Lavender eyes suddenly widening, he looks back to Haley. “Oh, speaking of dancing, Emily says she wants to talk to you.”

Haley’s brows crease in confusion, but she thanks Briar before heading off in her sister’s direction. “How does it have anything to do with dancing?” he asks. No way Emily of all people would forget the moves or something. Honestly, she’s probably the best out of any of them.

“How drunk do you think Pam’s going to get Gus this year?” Briar asks instead of answering his question. “She made me try some of her punch earlier and it’s strong. Like she’s making up for the last dance where no one puked.”

...Was Briar avoiding something? Alex understood he was typically a very distracted person, but this was the second time he’d dodged a question. “Uh, very, I guess,” he says, squinting at the farmer who’s still staring over at the buffet table. “So who’s your partner?” Best to be direct, Alex decides. Briar was a pretty weird guy, but usually pretty straight forward. 

“I, um…” his eyes whip around the field until they fall on Marnie, in which he says, “You’ll never guess what I found--”

“You are avoiding something!” Alex declares triumphantly, albeit a little loudly, and those standing closest to them glance over in curiosity for a moment before they’re given a bit of privacy again. Briar is now staring intently at the grass, calloused hands gripping each other tightly. “What--are you nervous? She’s gonna say yes, dummy. Like, everyone loves you, don’t worry so much about it.”

That gets the farmer to meet his eyes. His expression makes Alex shrink back a little. He looks… scared. Vulnerable. He’d never, ever seen him look like that before. Alex wants to ask if he’s okay, but he’s barely opened his mouth when Briar says, “Really? You don’t think anyone will be… upset?”

“Come on, man, I think you’re taking this a little too seriously--”

“You won’t be upset?”

“Huh?” What was he talking about? Did he think Alex was going to judge his type that much? Alex--the resident virgin? He who had once told Briar that he had jerked off to the girl on the butter container when the wifi had been out? Briar thought Alex had any right to judge him? If Briar hadn’t looked so worried, it might have felt flattering to be regarded so highly. As it was, he felt kind of terrible. “Dude, I don’t know what’s wrong, but trust me, I doubt you could do anything to make me or anyone else in town like you less. Like I said--everyone’s kind of crazy about you.” Honestly, it was a little creepy. Alex likes to think it has something to do with Briar still being relatively new in town, but he knows it’s because Briar’s just a Good Person. He was kind and funny and patient and charming and even his grandfather, who Alex sometimes doubted liked him, was enamored. 

Briar smiles, and it’s unlike how he usually does it. Usually, he grins crookedly, so brightly that sometimes it physically hurt Alex to look at directly. This time, he looks almost shy. Or scared, maybe? Alex had never seen this expression before, so he can’t be sure, but his smile is small and tight and just so unlike him. It’s hard to believe the Flower Dance of all things suddenly made Briar so grim.

It hits him, suddenly, that they’re probably not talking about the same thing right now. “Briar—”

“Briar!” Mayor Lewis calls out. They both look over, and the old man is frantically waving the farmer over. He doesn’t look super happy.

Alex scowls, but he hears Briar chuckle. When he looks at him, the weird expression from before is gone, and Alex wonders if he’d imagined it. “Geez, I hope I’m not in trouble,” Briar half-whispers. “I’ll catch you later,” he says normally, and begins walking away.

He wants to call out, ask him if he’s okay, really okay, but the words get caught in his throat. He nods, figures it’s fine, anyway. Later, Briar had said.

They could talk later.

—

Alex eats and mingles and does his best not to think too hard, which may or may not be his specialty. Before he even realizes it the sun threatens to set over the horizon and Mayor Lewis calls everyone to the center of the field to dance.

He takes his usual spot in the middle before Haley, looks to his left to see Shane, Harvey, and Elliot. He looks to the right and sees Sam and Sebastian and is confused. What, all that talk for Briar to chicken out? He faces forward and opens his mouth to complain to Haley.

His mouth stays open, even though nothing comes out. Standing diagonally from him, next to Haley and in line with the rest of the girls like it was only natural for him to be there in Emily’s spot was Briar, grinning widely like all his confidence had returned. He whips his head back around to affirm that, yes, Shane was standing in front of him. The older man, for his part, looked like he could be embarrassed under all that perpetual anger, but Alex honestly can’t tell. He wants to say something, wants anyone to say anything, but the music suddenly starts, barely managing to shock him out of his thoughts.

He starts late, missing all his queues in favor of watching Briar do a dance that had nothing to do with their own joyfully. When the music swells and the couples come together, he can barely feel Haley’s nails digging into his shoulder through his suit, can hardly hear her angered whispers about how horrible he did and how could he forget the moves, after all this time, and stop staring, Alex, it’s rude. But he can’t help staring. Not with the silly way Briar falls into Shane’s arms, all dramatic flourish. Or the way he twirls the angry man, attempting to dip him only to have his foot purposely stepped on. 

And certainly not with the way they looked at each other. They looked happy. 

Alex had really, really never been a fan of the Flower Dance.

—

The festival, as usual, moves fast from that point on. As Haley’s date, he gets caught up in the Flower Queen formalities and he doesn’t see much of Briar. He doesn’t see him at all, in fact, until everyone is heading home. He’s walking beside his grandmother and pushing his grandfather’s chair, so he’s towards the back of the awkward parade the townsfolk make when they all leave somewhere at the same time. As they approach Marnie’s farm, he sees two figures break away in the darkness, arms thrown over shoulders and leaning heavily against each other. 

When they head north, Alex realizes who they are. His ears feel hot, and he’s just so tired and confused that he decides he’ll ignore the way his stomach is twisting up on itself in favor of a long night’s sleep.


	2. 2

Two:

As it turns out, Alex doesn’t sleep all that much. Instead, he goes through a tumultuous emotional experience he hadn’t seen since he was a child. His initial confusion had changed to anger shortly after arriving home and his grandparents had wished him a good night. He wasn’t sure  _ why  _ he was so angry, whether it was the fact Briar had purposely kept this from him or that fact that he might be…  _ you know _ . He had stewed over it until he became confused  _ again _ , which only served to further his annoyance. 

Then, he just kind of felt sad. And a little lonely, both for himself and for Briar. Because it  _ sucked  _ that he didn’t have anyone to talk to right now, and he can only imagine how long Briar might have been feeling like this because he thought he had to hide… whatever it was he may or may not be hiding. Alex  _ really  _ didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but with what had happened at the festival and what he’d seen last night there really wasn’t anything he could do about his mind wandering.

He’d finally closed his eyes and decided to be supportive, no matter what, the next time he talked to Briar. He slept, thought admittedly not well, and according to his grandmother, it was obvious. 

“Are you alright, dear?” she asks as she serves him breakfast. She must’ve been wondering for awhile, because his eggs and bacon are shaped into a smiley face, something she specifically did if she thought he was feeling sick or down.

He tries to give her a reassuring smile, but there’s not much he can do about the bags under his eyes. “I’m good, grandma. Just tired.” Alex picks up his fork and stabs at his eggs, causing the yolk to run across his plate. He looks up at his grandfather cautiously through his bangs. He’d kind of expected him to say, well,  _ something _ about what Briar had done yesterday. His grandfather was famously old-fashioned, afterall. Then again, he, like everyone else, was hopelessly charmed by the farmer.

George looks cranky, but that wasn’t anything new. He says nothing, and Alex figures he’s being spared one of his rants about how frivolous the younger generation was this morning. He quickly scarfs down his breakfast and his orange juice and springs out of his chair, making sure to kiss Evelyn’s cheek on his way out of the kitchen. “I’ll be home in a little while,” he calls out, exiting the house and shutting the door behind him. 

It’s sunny today. Alex wants to find Briar, but it’s already 8 a.m. and Briar has likely finished his chores and headed off for the day and Alex is unsure of where he’ll be. Sometimes he’ll spend the days fishing at the beach and the nights in the taverns. Others, he’d take the newly operating bus to the desert to explore the caverns there, having already gone as deep as he could in the local minds. Once in a while, he’d pop up out of the sewers. Or he’d catch him in the bathhouse or hang out with the weird old man who lived in the forest. He was unpredictable, and Alex could wander around town all day and never run into him. He  _ could  _ just wait at the farm, but Briar could be out as late as 2 in the morning, and while Alex didn’t necessarily have a curfew or anything, he’d rather not just sit around on Briar’s steps and wait. 

Then again, he doesn’t really do much other than sitting around  _ anyway _ , does he? Might as well give it a purpose.

He almost misses Shane, walking quickly and with his head held low. Alex tries to ignore the strange sense of relief he feels when he notices that he’s come from Marnie’s farm and not Briar’s. He hadn’t given it much thought until now, much more hung up on the fact Briar was dancing with a  _ guy  _ rather than who that guy was, but Shane was the absolutely last person he’d expect the farmer to end up with in any capacity--romantic or platonic. Alex doesn’t think he’s ever had a real conversation with Shane before, but from what he’s seen, he just seems  _ mean _ . Before he realizes what he’s doing, he’s heading towards the scowling man, meeting him in the town center and blocking his path.

Shane cranes his head to look up at him, eyes narrowed. “What do you want.” Alex is sure that it’s a question, but it sounds like a demand. He can smell beer on him and crinkles his nose. Right, this is why he’s never really talked to Shane. He was a drunk--Alex’s least favorite type of person. So why in Yoba’s name was Briar getting involved with him?

“I--uh,” It was a  _ good  _ question though. What did Alex want? Why’d he come over here? “I just--do you know where Briar is?” he asks, partly because he wants to know if he knows and partly because he doesn’t know what else to say.

It seemed to be the wrong thing, regardless. Shane sneers at him. “I’m not his fucking keeper,” he growls, shoving past him roughly and continuing his trek like he’d never be disturbed. Alex grimaces, watches his retreating from. Shane was… kind of a dick, right? Alex really doesn’t think he said anything wrong. At least not to the extent to earn that reaction. 

Even though she’s probably still sleeping  _ and  _ still mad at him, Alex decides to go wake Haley up because, well, she’s really his only other friend. It doesn’t take him long to get there and nobody ever locks their doors in the Valley so he lets himself in and heads straight into Haley’s room. The lights are still off and the curtains pulled and she is curled into a ball in the middle of her bed, surrounded by pillows and buried under blankets, sleeping peacefully.

Alex chooses to rip the band aid off. He flicks the lights on and belly-flops onto the bed.

\--

His lower lip had swelled almost impressively fast. He thanks Emily, who appears to have also just been woken up as she hands him a bag of frozen peas, glares at her sister, and exits Haley’s room. The blonde doesn’t look at all sorry, and Alex can’t say he blames her. “I hate you so much,” she hisses as soon as her sister is out of sight. Alex pouts at her, the effect only dramatized by his current wound. 

“Don’t be like that,” he pleads. “We won’t get to gossip.”

“Ugh,” Haley rolls her eyes at him, finally fully rising out of bed. She heads straight to her vanity to begin her morning routine. Alex had seen her apply the multitude of creams, powders, liners, and moisturizers numerous times but couldn’t ever tell you what any of it was for. She seemed to know what she was doing at least. “It’s… not our business,” she says finally, after a long silence. 

If Alex hadn’t already been sitting, he might’ve fallen from shock. “ _ You  _ don’t want to talk about other people?” he asks incredulously. He can’t help but think it sounds worse than it is. “Yesterday we spent  _ how _ much time trying to figure out who he was going to dance with?”

“This is different,” Haley says, looking at him through the mirror. She only has one eye done, and she looks kind of funny like that. “Briar is… he’s such a good guy, you know, and there’s already enough people here who might make this hard from him.” Her eyes narrow dangerously. “ _ You’re _ supposed to be his friend--”

“Hey--I am!” Alex interrupts. “I don’t mean-- Look, I don’t care if he’s… you know--”

“Gay?” Haley offers, unperturbed.

“We don’t  _ know  _ that,” Alex argues. “Maybe he lost a bet.” Haley says nothing, merely continues on her face. “Besides,” Alex says, aware he’s mostly talking to himself now, “Even if he did just wanna… dance with a guy, why choose that guy?” The blonde shrugs, apparently more interested in her face than the conversation. Alex presses the impromptu ice pack to his lip, hissing at the sting. Ow, she really got him good. “I mean, I don’t know if you ever talked to the dude,” he continues, words slightly mumbled, “but he’s, like, kind of a dick. He just cussed me out before I got here!” Alright, that might’ve been an exaggeration, but Shane  _ had  _ sworn at him and it bothered him.

Haley only laughs at that. “Well, you can be pretty annoying.”

Alex decided to ignore her, continuing on, “Plus, he drinks, like, a lot. And he’s not even that good looking; he’s short and he looks mad all the time and he smells like  _ booze _ and--”

“ _ Aw _ ,” Haley mocks him, finally spinning in her chair to face him. “Is little Alex  _ jealous _ ?”

His cheeks burn at the accusation. “Jealous of  _ what _ ?!” he demands, purposely ignoring the way his voice cracks in indignation. 

“Well, if Briar’s dating Shane, or  _ anyone  _ for that matter, he’s not going to have as much time for you, is he?” the blonde points out. Alex feels his heart sink. “I mean, why would he bring you food and gifts if he has an actual boyfriend to shower in affection? And his free time is already limited as it is, with having to run the whole farm by himself, right?” She smirks at him, leaning forward and placing her hands on her knees, looking downright cynical. “Soon enough, you’ll be just like the rest of us in town--someone he’s friendly with, and someone he’s willing to help out if need be, but…” she pauses, then stands, walking over to him and poking him in the forehead. “Not. Special.”

Oh, Yoba, now he’s panicking. He hadn’t really thought that far yet, but what Haley’s saying  _ does  _ make sense. But--Briar was  _ better  _ than that. He was better than everyone, after all. “That’s not true,” he argues, mostly for the sake of it and somewhat so that Haley can’t see that she might’ve gotten to him. 

She’s settled down next to him now, but has picked up some sort of fashion magazine that she’s idly flipping through. “Sure it is,” she says. “It might not be right away, but that’s just what happens when people get into relationships.”

Alex jolts to his feet, tossing the dripping, mostly-melted bag of peas at Haley’s freshly done face. He ignores her shrieks and Emily’s subsequent shouts of annoyance/worry and walks as fast as he can to her bedroom door yanking it open. “Assho--!”

He slams it behind him, being only slightly more mindful of the front door. He feels lost, standing in the brightly shining morning sun. He’s much too anxious to wait for Briar to come to him. He’s only going to feel better after talking to him, so he turns to the right, heading in the direction of the forest.

\--

Unfortunately, coming to the farm from the south turns out to be a pretty bad idea. 

Briar had made commendable strides in bringing the old farm back to life, but it seems like he hadn’t quite gotten  _ this  _ far in his expansion yet. Alex is forced to cut through weeds, tripping multiple times on rocks and twigs and once managing to face plant into a towering tree. The cut on his lip had opened again, and the sleeves of his jacket were quickly becoming stained with his blood. When he finally passes a field of crops, he feels a rush of joy only to be immediately stomped out by the fact that Briar probably wasn’t home and he’d have to wait around anyway.

All the plants had been watered, and his cows moo at Alex as he passes. Briar has more animals than Alex has thought, now that he thinks of it. He can see two cows, a goat, two sheep, a few pigs, and at least half a dozen chickens roaming the pastures. They mostly ignore him, however, and he steps up to the porch of Briar’s house.

He figures he’ll knock, just in case, and if Briar wasn’t around he’d go over to the well and try to wash his face before finding a spot to sit and wait. His plan ends up useless, however, because the farmer answers.

His hair is somehow even wilder than it usually is, and he’s wearing sweatpants and a graphics t shirt of a character Alex doesn’t recognize. He looks tired, and perhaps a little sick, and Alex immediately regrets his decision.

“Oh, hey,” Briar says, looking confused, but he smiles at him nonetheless. “Jesus, what happened to you?”

Alex fidgets, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “Can I come in?”

Briar steps aside, letting him in. His house is noticeably bigger than the last time he was here. He’s got a kitchen, and presumably a bedroom considering he doesn’t see a mattress pushed off into the corner. There’s a ridiculous amount of plants, considering how many are  _ outside _ . Before he can inspect further, Briar pushes him into a bathroom, instructing him to wash off.

It looks worse than it is, Alex decides, standing in front of the mirror. Soap and water washes the blood and dirt on his face easily enough. His lip had stopped bleeding as well, though there wasn’t much he could do about the swell. When he leaves the restroom, Briar is waiting for him on the couch, two mugs set on the coffee table before him. He steels himself and sits on the couch beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These first two chapters have been 90% Alex and Haley talking shit, whoops.


	3. Three

Three:

Alex sits awkwardly stiff, taking the offered mug when Briar hands it to him. He half expects coffee or tea, because that’s what people usually offer, right? He’s surprised when the smell of chocolate hits his nose. His confusion must show, because Briar scoffs, “What? I  _ know  _ you wouldn’t have drank tea if I made it.” He raises his own mug, taking a sip. Alex feels almost self-conscious. He doesn’t think he’d ever told Briar that right out. Had he just--noticed? Was that how friends were supposed to work? Should Alex have  _ just noticed _ ?

“So what happened to your face?” Briar asks, breaking him from his train of thought. 

“Haley,” he says back simply. Briar makes a noise in acknowledgement but says nothing, so they sit in silence for a few moments. Alex glances at the television across from them, on but muted, showcasing a group of wacky roommates getting into various shenanigans. “Were you taking a day off?” he wonders aloud.

The farmer shrugs. “I mean, I haven’t in a year, I feel like I deserve it.”

“Oh.” Dammit, talking to Briar was supposed to be effortless, second nature, even. Alex can’t remember it ever being this hard. “Did you, um have a nice night?”

Well, that was definitely the wrong thing to say. Briar’s eyes widen and his face reddens. “I- I don’t know what you--” Unfortunately, Briar also tends to use a ton of dramatic hand gestures when he’s flustered, and he proceeds to spill his hot beverage in a magnificent arc, right into Alex’s lap.

Alex leaps to his feet, the pain not quite reaching him yet but he knows it’s coming. They both let out a series of frenzied shouts, with Briar yelling at him to take his pants off before he gets burned and Alex mostly just making indistinguishable noises. The scalding liquid makes its way quickly through the fabric, and Alex’s hands go to his belt. Adrenaline seems to make him clumsy, however, and his fingers merely get tangled up in each other. The farmer knocks his hands out of the way, effortlessly unhooking the metal teeth. Deft digits then fly to his button and zipper, undoing both with an uncanny speed before he grabs the waistband of his jeans and yanks them down as quickly as he can, falling to his knees in the process.

And so there Alex stood, face an absolute mess, upper body fully dressed but still only in his boxers, pants around his ankles and Briar on his knees before him, a look of anxious bewilderment etched across his features. Alex has the worst luck--and the whole situation is so  _ dumb _ and ludicrous that he can’t help the giggle that starts to burst from his throat. He places a hand against his mouth, because it feels inappropriate to laugh, but that only makes it seem  _ funnier _ and before long he’s caught in the throes of uproarious laughter, struggling for breath.

Briar, for his part, looks hopelessly confused at first, but soon enough he’s laughing just as loud and hard, clutching at his stomach and tipping over, leaning heavily against the couch. Alex attempts to take a step back, but his pants are still obstructing him and he trips, landing squarely on his butt. This only pauses his mad giggling for a moment before it comes back tenfold, and he’s forced to grab his sides in an effort to make them stop hurting but it’s hopeless at this point and he should just accept it.

So he does, and they sit and laugh like they’re certifiably insane for more than a few minutes. Everytime it would threaten to die down, one of them would look at the other and it would start the whole process over again. It takes time, but eventually they sit side by side on the floor, close enough for their shoulders to touch, both still trembling and panting, trying to remember how to breath properly. 

“I’m sorry,” Briar says, wiping tears from his eyes, and it sounds like he means it. Alex is not--not really. He thinks he needed that; a reminder that, even after the weirdness of yesterday, Briar was still Briar and nothing necessarily  _ had  _ to change between the two of them. The farmer struggles to his feet, using Alex’s shoulder as leverage. He circles the couch and disappears around the corner, but returns quickly with a pair of sweatpants. He hands them to Alex, who takes them but makes to further move to put them on, or even to remove the jeans still twisted around his ankles. Noticing his hesitation, Briar moves to sit by him cross-legged on the floor. He leans forward and turns his head until he’s in Alex’s field of vision. “What’s up?”

Alex heaves a heavy sigh. “Nothing. I’m just an idiot,” he says. 

He kind of hopes he won’t have to say more, but he knows better than that with Briar. “You’re not,” Briar maintains, “Though, it certainly takes a special kind of person to end up so bloody and pantless before noon, huh?”

That gets a laugh out of him. “Look, dude, I’m just gonna ask. Why did you dance with Shane?” He feels stupid for being so  _ nervous _ . It’s  _ Briar _ , who’s typically always honest with him. He  _ always _ answers his questions, even the really dumb ones. He’s apologized for it before, because once he has his answer, it usually seems obvious or like someone shouldn’t have to tell him, but that had only gotten him scolded. There’s  _ nothing _ wrong with wanting to understand something, Briar had said. He figures this has to count, too.

Briar hums quietly under his breath, eyes going to the ceiling, something he does when he’s searching for the right words. Alex doesn’t rush him. “Well, I wanted to, for one,” Briar finally quips. “But also because I needed to? I mean, I didn’t  _ need  _ to dance with  _ Shane _ , but…” he trails off, and he can see some of the same expression he had seen yesterday, the fear and vulnerability, but there’s something underneath that that almost looks like a visage of trust. He lowers his gaze, looking at Alex directly. “I’m gay,” he continues on quickly, not giving Alex room to respond. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you--I wasn’t  _ trying  _ to keep it a secret, I mean, maybe a little, but not intentionally! I just didn’t know how to bring it up, to you or to anybody else, and the longer I didn’t the worse I felt because you’ve shared such personal stuff with me, you know? By the time I thought I should tell you I thought that it was already too late and you’d feel like I was--I don’t know. Pierre was practically shoving bouquets in my backpack the other day, and my mom keeps talking about  _ grandkids _ , and then I noticed the Flower Dance was coming up and I figured instead of going through the awkward process of coming out to twenty-something people individually I could just do it all at once and get it over with.” Briar blushed then, finally breaks his stare with Alex to drop his face into his hands and groan. “Ugh, it was so dumb.  _ I’m _ the idiot.”

Alex is--well, he can’t say he’s surprised, because, well, he’s not  _ that  _ slow. But he’s slow enough that it takes him a little bit to process everything Briar had just said. And even when he does, he’s not entirely sure of the right reply.  _ Supportive _ , he reminds himself. “You, uh, don’t have to be sorry,” he tells him, because hearing that from Briar had made  _ him _ feel better. Lavender eyes peek at him through the gaps in Briar’s fingers. “And the Flower Dance is so  _ lame _ , at least you managed to switch it up a little right?” he offers, trying his best to be encouraging.

Briar sputters, something between a laugh and a moan. “People are going to be talking about this for weeks, aren’t they?”

Alex grins. “At least until Haley asks for another sea cucumber on the bulletin.”

“Pfft, did she tell you that I was the one who got that for her?”

“I’m pretty sure that was her whole goal, so yeah.”

Briar laughs freely at that, so Alex does, too. “Aw, man, on a scale of one to ten, how disappointed is she?” he asks.

“To be honest, she seems really cool about it.” Way cooler than Alex had been, but Briar didn’t need to know about that. 

“...And are you?” Briar’s tone is still light, but Alex can feel the weight of the question.

He shoves his shoulder into Briar’s playfully. “You really  _ are  _ an idiot,” he says. He can see, given his general personality and stereotypes, why Briar  _ might  _ have thought he wouldn’t be okay with this, and maybe if it was anyone else that would be the case, but Alex really can’t think of anything Briar could do that would make him, well,  _ not cool  _ with him. The farmer had barely been here a year, and yet Alex wonders how he had lived without his presence before. He just made everything  _ better _ . How could Alex not like him?

Briar chuckles, eyes drifting down pointedly. “I guess so, considering we had this entire conversation without you wearing pants.”

Oh, shit, that’s right. Though it’s  _ much  _ too late for that, he feels a sudden heat flush across his cheeks and ears. He sets the sweatpants, which he’d just been  _ holding _ , down on the floor next to him and reaches forward to begin to untie his sneakers. Nope, he was  _ definitely  _ The Idiot out of the two of them. “So, why  _ Shane  _ anyway?” Alex asks, because he hadn’t been mentioned and also to get the attention off himself as he finally changed. “Are you, like… dating?” Though no parts of this conversation so far had truly made him feel uncomfortable, this was a little different. He figures it’s because he doesn’t really  _ like  _ Shane, and doesn’t get why Briar would.

“We’re just friends,” Briar says, and Alex is hit with a sudden wave of relief. “Well,” Briar continues, politely averting his eyes as Alex’s guts seemingly start to knot around themselves. He clumsily kicks off his jeans, shoving his legs into the pants Briar has provided and stands to hurriedly tugs them up. They’re maybe an inch or two short and a little too tight to be considered comfortable but he figures he can’t complain. He sits back down on the couch this time. Briar leans his head against the sofa, looking up so he can meet his eyes from the ground. “It’s… complicated. I think we’re kind of both lonely,” he admits.

Considering Alex had never been romantically involved with  _ anyone _ , Alex isn’t sure he gets it. Hearing Briar say he’s lonely makes him feel bad, though.  _ Still _ . “But, Shane?” he asks again. “If you can get pretty much  _ any _ girl in town, I think you could probably do better than--” Briar reaches up, grabbing a bit of Alex’s thigh between his thumb and pointer finger and pinching down hard. “Ow?!” he exclaims in equal parts pain and betrayal. “ _ What _ ?”

“Be nice,” the farmer chides. “Besides, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are exactly six guys in this town who are single and around our age.” He gives a long sigh, narrowing his eyes at him. He holds up a hand, fingers extended. “Harvey’s in love with Maru,” Briar explains, curling his thumb towards his palm. “Sebastian’s banging Abigail,” his pinky follows suit. “I wouldn’t be able to take Sam seriously in bed,” and the ring finger. “Elloitt’s not my type.” Briar is left simply holding one digit, and he waves it around. “And so here we are.”

“That’s only five,” Alex retorts. He can’t really say anything else. All of Briar’s points are valid after all. He does think, however, that the fact that Shane is a mean, old drunk should also exclude  _ him  _ from being an option, but decides to keep that to himself.

Briar laughs at him, using the still-outstretched finger to poke him on the nose. “Duh, you’re the only other one, silly.”

_ Oh.  _ So Alex wasn’t even considered, then? He tells himself it makes sense, they’re  _ friends _ and that would be  _ so weird _ and--and Alex was  _ straight _ . Yeah, that should probably be the most important reason. His chest suddenly aches, and his hands are shaking, and Alex wonders why he’s reacting like this. His ego, maybe? No one liked being excluded, after all. Plus, Alex considered himself a decently attractive dude. He was tall and broad, muscled but still lean. If Alex  _ did  _ like guys, which he  _ didn’t _ , he thinks that’s what he’d like. His eyes follow Briar’s finger to his toned forearms, and then too his strong biceps.  _ Yeah, like that _ . “What’s wrong with me?” he finally asks, sounding much more offended than he means to.

Yoba, what was  _ wrong with him _ ? He immediately realizes how freaking  _ weird  _ and  _ creepy _ that sounded as soon as the question leaves him. Why did it seem like he was  _ upset  _ that Briar wasn’t into him? He  _ shouldn’t  _ be, because that would make this  _ different _ . 

To say Briar looked shocked is an understatement. “What?” he laughs nervously, recoiling away from Alex and averting his eyes. “Nothing’s wrong with you, Alex, I just… don’t see you like that.”

Briar might have continued, but Alex honestly couldn’t tell with the way his ears began to ring. What was  _ happening  _ to him? Why did he feel so… so  _ hurt  _ all of a sudden? Oh, geez, was he going to be sick? He thinks he might puke. Air. He needs air.

Alex bolts to his feet. Briar visibly jumps at his suddenness, but Alex is much too wired to feel guilty. “Sorry, I need to--go, now, sorry.” he stiffly steps around Briar, moving as fast as he can to the door without running. He pulls it open so hard he fears he might break the frame.

“Wait, your pants--!” He slams the door on Briar’s voice much like he did to Haley, and bolts towards the bus stop. He heads into the small clearing and places both hands against the trunk of a tree, leaning forward, waiting for himself to throw up, but nothing happens. He just  _ feels awful _ . Water drips down on the grass beneath him, and he looks up at the sky, confused when it’s still bright and clear. His eyes burn and he realizes that, humiliatingly enough, he is  _ crying _ .

  
_ Shit,  _ Alex thinks to himself,  _ what’s wrong with me? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somebody save this boy from his feelings.


	4. Four

Four: 

Three soft, repetitive knocks sound from Alex’s bedroom door. “Alex, dear,” he hears his grandmother’s voice call from the other side, “Haley’s here to see you.”

Alex scowls up at his ceiling, burrowing further under his covers. He’d basically made this his Fortress of Solitude in the last day and a half, and he wasn’t about to let Haley of all people ruin that. He’d been doing an excellent job of avoiding  _ everyone,  _ which was good, because it meant he was also avoiding Briar. But he wasn’t  _ technically  _ avoiding Briar if he was avoiding  _ everyone _ . It helped him feel less guilty about it, as much as thinking about it too hard made his head hurt. But he wasn’t ready yet. He was still all twisted up inside, trying desperately to unravel all these feelings he couldn’t quite put names to. Seeing Briar before he was ready could potentially go very badly, if that morning two days ago was anything to go by. Even with all this time to himself, however, Alex felt no closer to an answer. “Tell her I’m not home,” he grumbles back to Evelyn. 

“I can  _ hear  _ you, dumbass,” Haley’s voice retorts back at him. He hears her mutter soft apologies to his grandmother before his bedroom door is shoved open. Alex stubbornly stays under his blankets, hoping that maybe if he ignored her long enough, she’d go away. “Get up, loser, we’re going shopping.” Unfortunately, her voice is closer now, and he can hear her step carefully around the clutter of his room until she’s by his bed. When he still doesn’t respond, she begins yanking at his comforter. 

Alex yanks back, but it’s soon apparent she has a better grip than he does. Instead of engaging in impromptu tug-of-war like he has initially planned, his balled up fists slip from the sheet and he nails himself in the face. He groans in pain, embarrassment, and perhaps a little acceptance. This is his life now, apparently, stuck in a cycle of hurting and making a fool of himself for no good reason.  _ Pathetic.  _

Haley succeeds in exposing him entirely, and he blinks angrily at her as his eyes adjust to the bright room. She’d apparently turned his lights on, which he didn’t appreciate, but would accept as revenge for the other day. “No,” he says to her simply, and then rolls over in an exaggerated manner giving her his back. He feels the mattress dip under her weight as she takes a seat next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving him a few firm shakes.

“Come on, it’s Emily’s birthday and I didn’t get her anything and you  _ owe  _ me for making me look like an idiot at the dance.” Ah, yes, another reminder of the multiple ways he’s humiliated himself in just the past week. He wonders if it’s possible for the ground to just open up and swallow him. At least then all his problems will be solved. He knows that a good friend would humor Haley. He has, after all, forced her to bear the weight of his own problems numerous times in the past, and she was  _ right  _ that he had messed up, but he barely has enough energy to be a good person right now, let alone companion, and stays quiet. She shoves him again, making a noise of annoyance. “Get  _ up _ .”

“Go away.”

His bed shifts again, and he hears Haley’s heels tap delicately on the floor as she pushes herself up. “I just saw Briar walk by, maybe he’ll be able to get you--”

_ That _ gets him to sit up so fast his head spins. He reached out without really meaning to, hand going to wrap around the blonde’s wrist to halt her movement. “Don’t you  _ dare _ ,” he demands, words sounding much more frantic than he had intended. “I can’t… I can’t see him right now, okay? And--and I can’t go out because then I might run into him, so can’t we just stay home and make her burgers again?” He sounds a little like he’s begging now, but he feels desperate.

Haley glares at him, blue eyes turning icy in her disapproval. “It’s  _ always  _ Briar with you, seriously, are you sure you’re friends?” she asks, clearly exasperated. “And, no, we can’t do  _ the same thing _ we did last year for her. Emily’s been pretty bummed out lately and I need to make today  _ special  _ for her or Yoba knows  _ how  _ long she’ll be moping around the house.” She twists in his grasp so that she’s holding his hand now, and works on tugging him towards the edge of the bed. “Plus, you’re grandma said you haven’t left your bed in days, so  _ you  _ need to get out of the house.”

Her words, as usual, bother him. She has a point, his relationship with Briar  _ has  _ been overly complicated recently, and Alex can’t even come up with a good reason for it. Still… “I can’t--”

“Oh my  _ god _ ,” Haley bemoans, interrupting him and pulling on his arm so hard it was beginning to get sore. “You’re not going to bump into the stupid farmer, he told me he’s going to be fishing at the beach all day.  _ We’re  _ going out of town, anyway, so you don’t have to worry about it, okay?”

Well… being cooped up by himself wasn’t seeming to help. Besides, talking to Haley would probably serve to make him feel  _ a little  _ better, maybe, or at least she’d have some outside insight on why he’s feeling the way he is. They’d been friends for years, after all, and aside from Briar she probably knew him best. “Alright,” he finally aquises, allowing her to pull him to his feet. “Where are we going? Zuzu City?”

“Ugh, I wish.” Looking pleased with herself, Haley steps back, placing her hands on her hips. “We’re going to the Calico Desert.”

\--

Alex lets out a big sigh of relief when they finally sit down on the bus, happy that he hadn’t run into the farmer on the way. Haley, taking a seat across the aisle from him, rolls her eyes. “You’re such a drama queen,” she teases.

“Shut up!” he’s loud, but the only other person on the bus is Pam and she doesn’t even offer them a glance for his outburst. “You wouldn’t  _ get  _ it,” he chides.

“Well, I can  _ try _ ,” she retorts. She removes the sunglasses she had brought so that she can meet his eyes. “What’s wrong with you guys lately? You were practically inseparable before the dance and I could never get you to stop talking about him, now suddenly he gets a boyfriend and, what? Was I right? Is being friends with you getting in his way?”

“Yoba, you really don’t know  _ anything _ ,” Alex spits. But, he can recognize he’s being a little harsh. “Briar's not dating that guy. Or, maybe they might start? I don’t know, he said it was complicated.”

Haley snaps her fingers, looking like she’d just figured something out. “Oh, so they’re fucking.”

_ “Whoa whoa whoa. _ ” Briar  _ certainly  _ didn’t say anything about  _ that _ . But… that was what he was insinuating when he was going through his options, right? Sure,  _ Alex  _ was talking about dating, but typically for people their age that went hand-in-hand. “They are  _ not _ ,” he argues regardless, because the thought really, really bothers him.

“ _ I  _ heard that they went home together after the dance, and they’d both been drinking,” Haley points out. 

“They can’t be,” he insists.

“Why not?” 

Dammit, he didn’t have any real, logical reasons.  _ He _ ’ _ d _ seen them go off together, too. “Because…” Haley gives him a bored stare, like she thought his answer would be stupid. “Because it would make me  _ feel bad _ ,” he finally admits. Well, looks like she was right, it  _ was  _ stupid. But it was the  _ truth _ .

“Wait a minute,” Haley says, holding up her hand. She looks out the window for a few silent moments, and it looks almost like she’s collecting her thoughts, which is weird for Haley. Like him, she’s much more the type to just blurt out whatever’s on her mind. Her nails tap against the leather of the seat next to her. Alex feels almost anxious waiting for her. “Do you like Briar?” she asks after awhile. 

“Huh? Of course I do.” What a dumb question. “He’s my best friend.”

“No, you moron.” She looks at him, suddenly serious. “Not like you like me or Dusty or your grandparents--do you  _ like him _ ?”

Another long, stretched out silence as Alex tries to process. Him--like Briar? Alex, him?  _ Briar? Like???  _ “What.” Is his final answer, staring blankly at Haley’s face as it twists in confusion.

“For the love of--” The blonde looks about ready to scream, and she takes a deep breath. Alex wonders if it actually calms her down at all. “You don’t like the idea of him being with someone else, you talk about him all the time, hell, he’s all you seem to  _ think  _ about these days,” she points out. “You couldn’t stop looking at him at the dance. Six girls dancing around you, Alex, and it was like he was the only one there.”

Oh…  _ oh, no _ . “I-I can’t,” he finally says, even as it all comes rushing back. His obsession with figuring out what the farmer was  _ about _ , the almost-hatred he’d seemed to develop for Shane; someone who he’d never even spared a thought for, the hurt and disappointment when Briar hadn’t considered him as an option. It  _ fits _ , it makes sense, and even Alex can see that, but… he’s never even had a crush before. Sure, he  _ definitely  _ finds girls attractive, but he never experienced what people in town and the television and music describe as actual attraction. Briar had pretty much been the first person he felt he truly  _ wanted  _ to know better upon meeting him, but Alex had initially chalked that up to the fact that he was the first new person in, like, forever. “I don’t--I don’t like dudes,” he whispers, distraught.

Haley stands to move over to the empty seat directly beside him. She delicately places a hand over his, and he’s horrified to realize that his own is shaking. “It’s fine,” she says quietly, though her voice is unnervingly high-pitched. Alex knows that it’s something she does when she’s trying to sound reassuring. “It’s not  _ our  _ fault that we grew up in unnaturally small towns that don’t give us the ability to properly explore the full extent of our sexualities.” Okay, wow, did something  _ eat  _ the real Haley and take her place before they got on the bus or  _ what  _ because this was completely out of character for her. His bewilderment must read on his face because Haley just laughs and explains, “I may or may not have binged the entirety of  _ Queer Eye  _ recently.”

Alex doesn’t know what that is, and he’s too afraid to ask. Instead he says, “Let’s say, and this is  _ just for the sake of the argument _ , that maybe I… liked him just a little bit.” He averts his eyes, feels uncomfortably warm. “He already told me that he didn’t see me like that.”

Haley scoffs, bumping into him lightly. “Please, I’ve already been trying to seduce him for two seasons. I was apparently just missing some important equipment,” she giggles, pointedly glancing down. Alex flushes brightly. “I haven’t even gotten to the good stuff in my plan yet. He won’t last the year,” she promises. She lays her head on his shoulder, and it almost physically hurts how much better a friend she is than him. “You’re gonna be okay.”

His eyes start to tingle, and he looks out the window to distract himself. Clear blue skies and miles of sand greet him. “What are we doing out in the desert, anyway?” he asks, curious. Haley had mentioned shopping for Emily, but he doesn’t really know what they could find that here.

“What,” she teases, “you think you’re the only one with a gay crisis needing my expertise?”

“I don’t--huh?” And here comes the confusion again, in full force. “I’m not having a  _ gay crisis _ ,” he disputes as the bus screeches to a stop. 

Haley stands, shushing him. “You’re next, chill. Lemme figure out this first.”

They leave the bus together and step into the hot, unforgiving sun. Haley puts her shades back on, and Alex enviously holds up a hand, trying to block out the harsh rays. They head over to the oasis shop, where Haley instructs him to wait. He doesn’t really want to--bake outside or be alone with his thoughts--but he doesn’t have much choice as his friend disappears into the air conditioned building.

Alex looks around, trying to find something to take his mind off himself but comes up short. He… has a thing for Briar. Okay. He figured something out. That was good, right? Sure, now he had  _ more  _ things to figure out; his sexuality mostly being top of that long list, but that was  _ something _ . 

But Briar didn’t see him like that. 

Did that feel  _ worse _ , now that he knew why it upset him? The sudden pain in his chest tells him yes. Haley seemed confident that he could be swayed, but Alex wasn’t so sure. Briar was smart and kind and good-looking and he was a hard worker and he could have  _ literally anyone _ , why would he  _ ever  _ settle for Alex, who’s most likely to work at the ice cream stand for the rest of his life? Just  _ reading _ made Alex feel exhausted and confused, and he’d been really  _ trying  _ lately. Sure, he’d  _ like  _ to go back to school, maybe do  _ something  _ with his life, but he’d never pass an entrance exam. Before coming here and making a name for himself--in a  _ year _ , Alex might add--Briar had had a decently successful, if not miserable, career. He could do  _ anything _ . Maybe that’s why he couldn’t see him like that.

  
Alex sinks to the ground, uncaring about the sand that’s sure to stick to his jeans. How was he even going to  _ face him  _ now?


	5. Five

Five:

Alex stares out the bus window as he and Haley approach the Valley with Sandy in tow. The blonde hadn’t provided him much (or any) information on this situation, but they sit a few feet away from him on a bench together speaking in hushed whispers, so Alex figures it’s not his business. He’s got his own problems, anyway.

He kind of wishes the ride would last forever, just so he wouldn’t have to go home and potentially run into Briar. It’s like as soon as he  _ might  _ figure out something, a million other questions and conflicting emotions pop up inside of him and he can’t even  _ begin  _ to sort through it.  _ Did  _ he like him like that?  _ Why?  _ Did that mean that  _ Alex  _ was gay? What would that--what would that mean? Why did it matter, if he didn’t have a chance? Why  _ now _ ?

The bus slows to a stop, the brakes near-silent due to repairs having been done just recently. Alex feels oddly nervous, and he reminds himself that he’s just going home, he’s done it a bajillion times and he can do it again. He gets up and follows the girls off the bus. It’s about 7 p.m, the sun having just set as the days grew longer as they approached summer. Normally, this time of year fills Alex with glee and anticipation, but all he’s felt lately is  _ anxious _ . As they leave the bus stop, he can’t help but cast a skittish glance towards Fauna Farm. Briar had told Haley he was fishing today, but this late in the day he could be  _ anywhere _ . They turn left towards town, and Alex had figured that they were going back to Haley’s house and he’s a little surprised when they trail off towards the saloon.

Alex pauses in front of the door, grimacing. It makes sense, this is where Emily  _ is  _ at this time, after all, but so is a number of other people on Saturdays including Briar sometimes. And  _ definitely  _ Shane, who was the only person he might want to see  _ less  _ than the farmer right now. Because now all he can wonder about him is what does the older man have that Alex doesn’t? An asshole personality? Crippling alcoholism? Briar couldn’t possibly be attracted to  _ that _ .

“What are you waiting for?” Haley asks, holding the door open. Sandy stands next to her, shifting nervously from foot to foot. Before Alex can answer her, she grabs him by the arm and hauls him in. 

His eyes take a moment to adjust to the change of lighting, but when they do the first thing he sees is Emily’s shocked face from behind the bar. Alex looks at the redhead to see her smile sheepishly and wave, and Emily rounds the counter to approach them. She hesitates when she reaches Sandy, and they both stare into each other’s eyes like they’re searching for something. Without any words exchanged, they move simultaneously, wrapping the other up in their arms. Alex hears soft laughter, and it’s so sweet it almost hurts. Emily turns her head without releasing the other girl to ask Gus for a break, which he grants, and Emily thanks Haley before the two of them disappear to the back.

Haley nods, placing her hands on her hips. “You done good,” she says, and Alex knows she’s talking to herself and he rolls his eyes. She’s right, though.

Mid-eyeroll, his eyes fall onto the corner of the bar, where Briar and Shane stood together, a beer in their hands. And, oh shit, they were looking at him, likely having watched what had just gone down and of course Alex had to be standing  _ right there _ , and now he’s locked eyes with Briar, so he can’t just pretend he didn’t see him. Oh, no. Briar says something to Shane and places his mug on the counter. He looks like he’s about to come over.

Alex is a  _ coward _ , but he whips his head to Haley nevertheless to mutter, “See you later,” before turning abruptly on his heel and leaving the saloon as fast as socially acceptable. His house is  _ right there _ and he kind of feels like a dick for ignoring Dusty, who pokes his head out as he approaches, but he’s a man on a mission and he  _ cannot risk  _ having a conversation with Briar right now. He’s just going to say something stupid or incriminating, and then Briar won’t want to talk to him anymore, and Alex feels like if that happens he will  _ lose a piece of himself _ . He  _ needs  _ Briar in his life now, on whatever terms the farm wanted, and he couldn’t mess it up. 

Alas, Yoba hates him, and he hears Briar’s voice call out. “Alex! Wait up!” And, yeah, he’d just literally run away from him, but he couldn’t just  _ ignore  _ the guy. So he tells himself to play it cool, make it quick, and then he could go back to his cocoon and keep trying to unpack all these feelings. He stops just behind Dusty’s pen, and faces Briar. 

“‘Sup?” Nice, that wasn’t too bad. It was calm, it was cool. It didn’t imply any underlying feelings. 

Uh-oh. Briar doesn’t seem to like it. His lips are turned into a frown, lavender eyes filled with suspicion. “Don’t ‘’sup’ me, where have you been?” he asks. “You just, like, disappeared for three days, and all your grandparents would tell me is that you weren’t feeling good, but I  _ know  _ you don’t get sick for that long.” He drops his gaze, looking off somewhere to the side of Alex. His hands grasp the straps of his backpack in a whiteknuckled grip. “I know that me being--that what we talked about the other day might make you uncomfortable, and I’m  _ sorry  _ for that.” His voice begins to shake, almost noticeably, but Alex can tell the difference and it makes his heart sink to his stomach. “If--If you need space, that’s fine, I get it, just  _ please _ don’t shut me out.”

Shit, why was Alex so  _ awful _ ? He  _ knew  _ Briar needed support right now, that he was feeling vulnerable and  _ weird _ , and Alex had managed to just make it entirely about himself. He ignored Briar when he needed him and made him feel  _ bad _ . His guts feel like they’re twisting into knots, and he’s struck with the overwhelming guilt like it was a train. He steps forward, trying to stamp down the way his heart races when he gets closer to Briar because that  _ didn’t matter. He  _ mattered. He was Alex’s best friend first, before anything, and he had let him down when it had mattered most.

“I’m so sorry,” it’s embarrassing the way his voice cracks, but humiliating himself in front of Briar was nothing new. “You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I don’t  _ care  _ that you like dudes,” Alex tells him, trying to be reassuring, but Briar doesn’t look convinced and he still won’t meet his eyes. Alex cautiously moves closer, bending slightly and craning his neck to look at Briar’s face. He looks hurt and scared and Alex feels like garbage. “I-I  _ mean  _ it, everything going on with me right now--that’s all me and my dumb shit.” Briar glances at him, concern glinting in his expression, but Alex tries not to give him a chance to respond. His hands seem to move without him commanding it, falling onto Briar’s broad shoulders and squeezing. Blood pounds in his ears, and he hopes it’s dark enough that the farmer can’t see him blush. “I’m sorry for being such a bad friend. I’m gonna do better.” Alex doesn’t say it outright, but it’s a promise. Briar deserved the  _ best _ , and so that’s what he’ll be.

The other man finally smiles, and it’s timid but it’s still there. He reaches up to place his hand over one of Alex’s, and Alex has to stop himself from physically reacting to the touch. “You’re okay,” Briar whispers, applying a small amount of pressure to his fingers before releasing him. Alex figures that’s only appropriate and does the same, taking a step back for good measure. He probably shouldn’t get too close to him if he didn’t want to give himself away. Everyone had always told him that he wore his heart on his sleeve, and it wasn’t like he was a very good liar. In fact, he was terrible with keeping secrets in general.

For Briar, he would, though. 

The farmer clears his throat, and Alex realizes that he’s just been standing there staring. He whips his gaze away awkwardly, looking towards his house. “I should… probably get going,” he says. “Haley’s been dragging me around all day.”

“We’re… good, though?” Briar asks. “I mean, we can just go back to normal?”

  
“Yeah,” Alex says, feeling his ears burn. His voice is an octave higher than usual, and his palms sweat profusely. He was an  _ abhorrent  _ liar. “Normal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Lil shorter than usual, 'lil later than usual. Whoops. Hope you guys like it anyway.
> 
> Things are gonna pick up next chapter though! Promise!


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smash that mothereffing explicit button kiddos.

Six:

As it turns out, the summer is the absolute worst season to realize that one might have less than platonic feelings for their best friend. The day before the Luau finds Alex in his usual spot, wandering aimlessly around the beach until it was time for work. It wasn’t even 11 yet, but it was already exceedingly hot. He’d been sweating due to the weather, but when he spots Briar come over the bridge he feels it intensify tenfold and tugs at his collar uncomfortably. 

He’d been… alright with Briar for the past week. Honestly, the beginning of the season usually causes the farmer to be even busier than usual, so he’d lucked out in only seeing him briefly in passing, typically while Alex was at the ice cream stand so that their conversations had been cut short. Which worked  _ great  _ for Alex, because it meant he could practice talking to his friend in small intervals, limiting the risk of giving himself away.

Today, however, Briar smiles brightly and heads straight for him. The sun had brought out the freckles on his face dramatically, the pearls of sweat beading on his forehead doing nothing to take away from his natural beauty. The farmer’s white t-shirt is damp and clings tightly to his torso. Alex sighs, pathetically feeling like one of those lovelorn heroines from his grandma’s sappy soap operas. “Hey, dude,” he greets, unable to help grinning back at him. “What’re you up to?”

“A  _ break _ ,” Briar groans. He drops to the sand dramatically, seeming not to care about how the sand sticks to his jeans. “It’s so  _ hot _ , and I’m so gross, but showering now is  _ useless _ because I’m just going to get gross all over again before the day’s over.” Briar attempts to fan himself with his hand, but it doesn’t look like it helps much because he stops pretty fast. Instead, he reaches for the back of his collar and yanks of his shirt. There’s nothing inherently sexy about it--he takes off his clothes like a  _ dude _ , no show or pomp about it, but for some reason he feels mesmerised. Alex is grateful Briar’s not looking at him, because he continues to speak and Alex comprehends literally none of it, much too distracted by the sudden reveal of the farmer’s chest. His shoulders are broad, and they look like they’re just starting to freckle, too. His chest is firm, and while he isn’t quite as muscular as Alex, he’s certainly  _ toned _ , and Alex can’t help but wonder if farming always gives you abs like that. When his eyes wander down to the V in his hips, he catches himself, blushing brightly and trying to avert his gaze, but he’s caught off track once more when he realizes with stunning clarity that Briar’s nipples are the same color as his lips and--

Oh.

Oh,  _ no _ .

Alex feels both hot and cold all at the same time, a weird sound getting caught in his throat. “Granny’s calling!” he shouts suddenly, totally interrupting whatever Briar had been saying and  _ sprints _ away as fast as he can back to his house.

He ignores his grandparents entirely, rushing to his room and slamming the door behind him, locking it before turning around and leaning against the cool wood. He screws his eyes shut, takes a few deep breaths before opening them, and looks down.

Yup, he’s  _ hard _ . Like… like some sort of  _ pervert _ . 

Yoba, he’d  _ just  _ figured this crush thing out. He’s barely been able to force himself to think about what this might mean for him in--other departments. He’d always known subconsciously that he wanted to be  _ close  _ to Briar. That’s the whole reason they became friends in the first place. And part of him had wondered, over these past few days, what it might be like to kiss Briar, but this was an entirely new field. Getting hard over his friend seemed like it was crossing some terrible line,  _ especially  _ since he had been right there. And, oh,  _ god _ , poor Briar was probably still sitting at the beach confused because Alex had left so abruptly without any explanation. All alone. And shirtless--

His cock throbs and Alex gapes at the bulge in his jeans in disbelief. He wants to touch himself to the memory of Briar’s bare skin, the smell of his sweat. He freezes when his hot fingers touch the cold metal of his button, vaguely remembering that  _ line _ , telling himself he’d  _ never  _ be able to face Briar if he did this. It’s  _ wrong _ , he  _ knows _ , but really… it’s not like Briar could ever find out.

He’s  _ weak _ and  _ terrible _ , but he can’t help himself. He sinks to the floor, a weird mixture of horny and ashamed as he finally yanks his pants and boxers to his knees, wrapping his hand around his dick.  _ Fuck _ , he’s so hard, from just  _ looking _ at Briar. There was something wrong with him, he thinks as he strokes himself, not bothering to figure out any sort of rhythm. It’s frantic, and he thinks about freckles and lavender. He wonders if Briar’s skin tastes like salt right now. His free hand raises to his mouth and he bites into his knuckles to stay quiet. Briar’s bright smile upon seeing him at the beach comes to mind, and he comes.

Alex stares blankly at the mess in his palm, breathing heavily and trying not to cry. He feels disgustingly guilty, and he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to look at Briar again.

\--

Alex  _ really  _ doesn’t want to go to the Luau, but his grandparents won’t let him out of it. After begrudgingly following them to the beach, he breaks off and approaches the buffet table. He sees no signs of Pam around the punch bowl, so he pours himself a large glass and sniffs it for good measure. He thinks it seems okay, so he grabs some of the snacks they had laid out as well and seeks out Haley in the crowd.

He finds her by the water, and the first thing she says once close enough is, “You look like crap.”

Alex rolls his eyes. Yeah, count on Haley to make everything better. “No shit,” he snaps back, “I didn’t sleep.” He takes a long gulp of his juice and winces. Did the punch usually sting like that? Whatever, he decides it doesn’t matter. “Haley, I’ve done something terrible.”

Haley scoffs at him. “I literally  _ just  _ did my nails, so you’re gonna have to do all the digging, but I have a spot--”

“What? No, shut up.” Why was she such a  _ weirdo _ ? He glances around cautiously for any potential eavesdroppers, and sips at his drink once more. It was actually starting to taste better the more he had. “I… I jerked off thinking about Briar yesterday,” he admits shamefully. He wishes he could just sink into the sand at that moment, but he had to tell  _ somebody _ , the guilt was eating him alive. He was afraid that if he didn’t talk to literally anyone else about it, it would certainly come out to Briar, so he was left with little choice.

“Oh,  _ gross _ ,” Haley hisses, scrunching her face like she’s just eaten something sour. “I don’t need to hear about that.”

“Sea. Cucumber.” It’s half-whisper, half-yell. His point seems to get across, though, because Haley reluctantly motions for him to continue. “I don’t know what to do anymore. I just wanted to ignore this whole thing until it went away, but I also want to stay friends with Briar and I don’t know if I can do both,” he vents, pausing occasionally only to drink more punch. He was starting to run low, he’d probably need more soon. “Like, have you ever seen him without his shirt on, Hales? You would’ve done the  _ same thing _ . I’m only a man.”

“ _ Jesus _ , you’re thirsty,” Haley mocks. Alex really doesn’t have all that much embarrassment left to spare for  _ her  _ of all people, so it doesn’t bother him much. “I still have twelve more points in my plan to seduce him  _ anyway _ , with a few tweaks I’m sure it can work for you, too.” She snaps her fingers, and then points at him, “You better start moisturizing ASAP, though.”

Alex isn’t 100% sure what that means and  _ why _ , but he’s too afraid to ask. “I don’t really trust your plans,” he says instead. “I’m not convinced Briar being gay was the only reason it wasn’t working.” Haley had seemed to make a fool of herself just as often as he does now when she was chasing after him, between awkward bulletin requests and falling off various farm animals.

“That’s  _ definitely _ the only reason it didn’t work, thank you very much.” She sniffs haughtily, turning her head. Alex tries to roll his eyes, but he thinks his head follows the motion, too, which is weird. He tries to take another gulp and realizes his cup’s empty, so he excuses himself momentarily to retrieve more. And by that, he means that he vaguely mumbles, “Punch bowl,” to Haley before turning on his heel and heading back to the buffet table.

He knows, somewhere off in the back of his mind, that he feels… off. His balance is wonky, his vision seems to blur every so often when he turns his head too fast. But he also feels… not as terrible as he thought he would, given that he’s likely to run into Briar tonight, and for that he’s thankful enough not to question it. He’s so determined in his quest for more of this special drink that he doesn’t notice Shane until their fingers bump together as they both grab hold of the ladle.

Alex looks up, and his gaze locks with Shane’s. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows that he should let go of the dumb spoon, let the guy do his thing, and then he could just move on with his life. But--they’re here now. Both holding onto something, refusing to let go, and Alex would be damned if he just  _ let Shane have it _ , so he narrows his eyes and tightens his grip, current mood giving confidence he had in now way earned in his challenge.

They stand there motionless for a few tense moments, and Alex briefly wonders if fists are about to fly at the buffet table until Shane gives a heavy sigh and backs off, retracting his hand to cross his arms, mouth scrunched into an impatient scowl. Alex tries not to smile, feeling ridiculously giddy over his win as he scoops punch into his cup. Still feeling petty, he gulps that down, spoon still in hand, so he can refill once again before finally handing it over to the older man.  _ Gosh _ , he feels lightheaded now. 

“I’d take it easy, boy scout,” Shane huffs as he takes his turn. Alex is almost too shocked by the fact he  _ spoke  _ to him to notice the weird nickname. Almost.

“I-I’m not a boy scout,” he barks back.

Shane rolls his eyes. He’d already finished filling up, and looked ready to abandon Alex now, for which he was grateful. “Pam spiked the bowl hours ago,” he mentions over his shoulder as he walks away. Alex thinks he might hear amusement in his tone, but he’s too busy beginning to have a meltdown to be sure. “Enjoy the party.”

Alex stares down at the red liquid like it had  _ betrayed  _ him, which it  _ kind of  _ had. The punch was… it was supposed to be his friend! It wasn’t supposed to have  _ alcohol  _ in it. He’d always made sure to  _ never  _ partake, never risk what it could potentially do to him. He thought that he’d  _ know  _ if he had some--that it would make him  _ angry  _ or  _ mean _ . It wasn’t supposed to make him feel  _ good _ . It was so--so  _ wrong _ , how could he ever--?

Strong hands come into view, and one takes the cup away, setting it down at the table, while the other grabs him by the arm and begins hauling him off, towards the town. Alex is much too-- _ drunk _ , he realizes--to put up any sort of a fight, and is mostly focused on this point in putting one foot in front of the other and not falling right on his face. It’s not until they reach the bridge that Alex feels steady enough to look up at his kidnapper and he’s not really surprised at this point to see that it’s Briar.

“Uh, hey,” he says, momentarily distracted by his internal struggle. “Where we goin’?” Well, he could have said it  _ better _ , but it got his question across.

Briar lets him go, probably figuring that Alex will follow him on his own, and he’s right. “I saw you drink that huge mug of punch,” he admits sheepishly. “I thought you might not know what you were doing, and when you realized it you might want to… get away. I told your grandparents that I needed your help with something on the farm and--” He stops in his tracks then, eyes widening, and then whips his face to Alex in alarm. “Wow, that was  _ way _ out of line of me, I’m sorry. We can--we can go back, obviously, if you want, I just thought--”

Why does he have to be so  _ perfect _ ? It isn’t fair, how could Alex ever be expected to  _ get over him _ when all Briar ever does is the right thing, over and over? He shoves his hand in his pockets, taking a step forward to bump his shoulder into Briar’s, and then starts walking ahead of him, granted a little wobbly. “You’re right, s’usual,” he says. “So? Where we going?” he asks again.

The farmer smiles at him, taking a few hurried steps to catch up to him, offering his arm. “Well, I assumed you wouldn’t want your grandparents to see you like this, so you can just spend the night at my place.”

Sober-Alex would have had a long,  _ long  _ list of reasons why he should very much not do that, even disregarding his current inebriated state, the most glaring of which being the  _ very shameful _ thing he did yesterday, but Drunk-Alex has no such qualms. Drunk-Alex is disappointed in himself, and hurt, and a little scared and he wants his best friend. So he takes his arm, and together, they walk to the farm, leaning heavily against one another.


	7. Seven

Seven:

“Alright there, big guy, you gotta help me out a little,” Briar can’t help but whine as he half-carries Alex down the last stretch of road leading from town to his farm. Briar’s gotten  _ really  _ fit over the past year compared to where he started, but he’s still very much already out of breath and sweating and part of him wants to sit down for a break--he doubts Alex is of mind enough to complain, as he had been happily chatting about dogs for the entirety of the walk--but he knows from experience that if he stops now he’ll never want to start up again, so he preservers. He’d decided he’d get Alex somewhere safe and comfortable for the night to sleep off this nonsense, and he was going to see it through no matter how heavy his friend is. Briar thinks he remembers hearing somewhere that muscle weighs more than fat, and he can’t help but think that it has to be true, considering the toned body pressed tightly against him.

Briar almost whoops in joy upon seeing the silhouette of his home in the distance, but refrains due to the late hour, even if most of the town was still at the beach. Best to be polite, regardless. He manages to drag the taller man up the few steps to his porch without either of them taking a tumble down, thankfully, but upon reaching the door Briar can’t help but groan in exasperation. He’s got one arm slung around Alex’s waist and his other hand holding tightly onto the other boy's forearm, clenched around his shoulders. He’s worried that if he lets go at either point, he won’t be able to keep him balanced while he turns the knob. At least he didn’t have to worry about a lock.

The farmer nudges the brunette, forehead to chin. “Hey, stand up straight so I can open the door.”

Alex grumbles something unintelligible, squishing into Briar more firmly, pressing his face into his neck. Alex is bigger than him, so he has to squat a little to get there, and he looks both equal parts ridiculous and adorable. It was So Alex that Briar found it difficult to be seriously annoyed with him.

Then he feels the hot puff of breath on the sensitive skin on his nape and figures he should probably hurry this up, for both of their sakes.

On the bright side, Alex is doing a good job keeping himself anchored now, so Briar lets go of his wrist and reaches for his door, twisting the knob and pushing it open. Rosie immediately tries to twine around his ankles, and he can’t help the twinge of guilt he feels as he shoos the cat away, but rather her be cranky with him than stepped on. He flips the lights on, but Alex makes noises of protest so he flicks them off again and tries to rely on his memory to navigate around his living room furniture and into his bedroom.

He suffers only a few stubbed toes before he makes it, and triumphantly approaches his mattress. He unwinds his arm from around his friend, and pushes him towards the bed. “Here, sit. Can you get your shoes off, or do you need help?”

“Mmph.” Alex finally detaches with him, and Briar feels cold. Absent-mindedly, his hand goes to rub the side where Alex was as he watches the other boy lean forward, fumbling blindly for his feet. Briar rolls his eyes and drops to his knees, reaching for the laces himself and untying them, ignoring the sharp gasp it grew from Alex, as well as the blush. Virgins. A strong enough breeze could set the man off, Briar swears. He pulls his sneakers off, considers asking Alex to at least take off his jeans, because Briar doesn’t like outside-clothes under his sheets, but decides against it. He could always do laundry in the morning, if it bothered him. 

For reasons he doesn’t like to consider, Alex sleeping in his bed under  _ any  _ capacity did the opposite of bother him.

It was--beyond stupid. Hence him not wanting to think about it. But, really, Briar couldn’t help the fact that Alex was so incredibly attractive it made him want to tear his own hair out. Nor could he be blamed that the other boy was so sweet and funny it made him  _ ache _ . What Briar  _ could _ control, however, was what he did about it. Which would be nothing, because at the core of it Briar treasured his trust and friendship above anything else. Hell, he didn’t even want to tell him he was gay, he was so terrified of it changing something about them. But he had to, because he knew from experience that it would get out eventually and he would be able to stand it if Alex thought he had hid it from him, and it  _ had  _ changed things, despite the gridball players reassurances that it hadn’t. Briar could feel it, somewhere, though he had trouble pinpointing the real source. It wasn’t hate or disgust, that much was certain. But it was--something.

“Your room’s real clean,” Alex comments, the first real sentence Briar’s been able to glean from him since the Luau. The farmer can’t help but laugh a little at that. “I thought it’d be--messier.”

“You’ve been in my room before,” Briar tells him. “You know I’m neat.” He raises from the ground and stretches, arms pulled tight over his head. Alex watches him intently, green eyes shining in the dim moonlight slipping through his curtains.

Alex shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. I’ve been in your living room, and your bathroom, but not your room-room,” he says, and then he scoots over and slaps the blanket beside him repeatedly, and much too hard. “What’re you standing for? C’mon, sit, sit!”

Briar has to purse his lips to keep from grinning. He feels bad for, well, kind of  _ enjoying  _ this when he knows how much Alex is going to be beating himself up over it tomorrow, but he was like a big kid, so  _ needy _ . If it was anyone else, Briar thinks he might’ve found it annoying but he completely  _ endeared. _ “No, you need to sleep this off, and I’m gonna sleep on the couch.” He’s a gentleman, after all.

“What? No,” Alex argues, reaching for him. His long fingers wrap around Briar’s wrist, the middle and his thumb almost touching. It makes the breath catch in Briar’s throat. “I just got here and--we, like, never  _ hang out  _ anymore, dude, it’s dumb.” He’s right, and Briar hates it. It’s part of that new Change. “Just--c’mere--”

He tugs, but clearly misjudges his own strength, yanking an unexpecting Briar by his arm, essentially hurtling him towards the other boy. Briar has no time to react or catch himself, merely crashes into Alex without a fight as the other boy is shoved back into the mattress. Briar hears the air forcibly pushed from the brunette lungs, and he’s also lacking oxygen due to his face being smashed into his sheets. It really shouldn’t be that complicated to push himself up, but Alex reacts predictably embarrassed,even given his inebriated state, and flails wildly, succeeding only in tangling them up further.

Briar manages to find his arms and lift his head, gasping for breath. His legs are still tied up in Alex’s but the other boy had gone weirdly quiet and he can’t help but worry, so he tries to find Alex’s gaze in the dark only to find it already locked onto him. His breathing is fast and heavy, and even in the darkness he can see the redness spread over his cheeks. Briar knows it’s silly, really, he’s--he’s done this before, done  _ way  _ more than this, this isn’t  _ anything _ \--but feels his heart race in response. He’s not expecting anything, really. It’s physiological. “You okay?” he asks, ignoring the little hitch in his voice and praying Alex would not pick up on it. Alex says nothing, just keeps staring, like he’s hypnotized, and Briar’s starting to panic a little. “Alex--”

“You--You’re really pretty.” It startles him enough that a laugh chokes out of Briar’s throat. Yeah, okay, definitely time to get off his friend now. He starts to pull away to do just that, still laughing, ready to brush him off and make a joke about reminding him about this tomorrow, but those  _ goddamn hands _ come up again, this time resting against both his shoulders. “No, really, I mean--your eyes, and your nose--”

More laughter, and Briar can’t tell if it keeps coming because he thinks this is funny or because he’s nervous. He pushes himself up, breaking the other boy’s hold on him and sitting straight, swinging around to place his feet flat on the floor. “Yes, I have those,” he tells Alex as he sits up, following him. The other boy’s not giving him enough space and Briar is much too aware of his presence right now. 

“No,  _ seriously _ , Bri,” Alex says, and his voice is husky and low and unlike anything Briar has heard from him before. “Y-your  _ mouth _ .” And those green eyes gaze upon his lips, and Briar can’t help but lick them self-consciously. He’s fascinated with the way the small actions make Alex’s eyes dilate, pupils blown wide, jade overshadowed by black. He moves even closer, so close that Briar can feel him trembling. “I…” His eyes drag back up Briar’s face, locking with lavender. “Can I kiss you?”

Briar wants to say yes, plase,  _ now _ . He wants to grab Alex by his dumb, handsome face and steal his breath, wants to carress those broad shoulders. He wants  _ messy _ , to lick as his lips and suck his tongue. He wants to make Alex whimper and groan, he wants to see what the other boy looks like  _ undone _ . Wants to feel that shivering skin under his fingertips, wants to see how far down that blush extends.

More than anything, though, he wants to keep Alex around.

So he forces himself to stand, to laugh. It doesn’t sound convincing. “Geez, you’re wasted,” he says, because that’s what this was. Alex was drunk, he wasn’t  _ thinking _ . And… Briar’s been through this before. He remembers friends from high school, from college, curiosity flooding through their veins. Remembers how they looked at him when he’d come out to  _ them _ , with wonder, like he was an answer. And he had been. Just never one he wanted to be. He knows how those stories ended, and he wasn’t willing to let his and Alex’s end like that.

“I--yes,” Alex admits, and he looks  _ hurt _ . It stings. “But I--I’ve been  _ thinking  _ about it, before now, it’s not--it’s not like that.” He reaches for Briar again, but the farmer steps back, out of reach. Impossibly his expression drops more. “Bri--”

He keeps stepping back, further away, until his back hits the wall and he slides around for the corner, more than ready to retreat to the living room. “Get some rest, dude, we can talk in the morning,” he says, wishing Alex a goodnight before fleeing. 

He fetches some extra blankets and pillows from his closet, trying to distract himself by setting himself up on the sofa but Alex’s words keep playing like a mantra through his mind.

_ Can I kiss you? _

_ I’ve been thinking about it. _

_ You’re really pretty. _

Briar scowls, staring up at his ceiling. Fucking straight boys. Why did he always fall for the straight boys?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, Briar POV!
> 
> No, rejection!


	8. Eight

Eight:

Alex remembers hearing that when some people get  _ really drunk _ , they black out, totally forgetting anything and everything they had experienced beyond drinking, their previous night lost in an untouchable void. Alex is not lucky enough to be one of those people. He wakes up in Briar’s bed the next morning with a pounding headache and ridiculously dehydrated. He also remembers everything he’d said with a disconcerting clarity. Every excruciating, embarrassing second.

What was he going to do? He’d totally  _ thrown  _ himself at Briar last night. Alex had been trying so,  _ so  _ very hard to not completely ruin his friendship with the farmer. He’d been doing  _ good _ . So what the fuck was that last night? Alex can remember anger, violence, cruelty coming from those who imbibe from his childhood, specifically his father. He was mean to begin with, but his habit made it worse. It was for this reason that Alex had planned to  _ never  _ partake, never risk losing himself, never hurt someone with his own sickness. Maybe it had something to do with your own reasonings, your own limits? Alex had never been a particularly callous individual. Was he secretly some sort of gooey, pathetic romantic?

Shit, shit. Alex rubs at his eyes and sits up. He feels gross because he’s still in his clothes from yesterday, and he kind of stinks but that’s mostly overpowered by it smelling  _ so much like Briar _ . He gets out of bed, trying to figure out what time it was from the light filtering through the window. Morning, for sure, but he wasn’t sure how late. He kind of hopes Briar’s out doing chores, or something, because he’s not sure what he should say to him. An apology,  _ obviously _ . But what else? 

_ Sorry I asked to kiss you last night, Briar, but honestly it’s all I’ve been able to think about.  _

Yeah, no. 

But… now that he’s thinking about it, Briar’s rejection hadn’t seemed all that… convinced? Even thinking it makes him feel like an asshole, because it’s  _ definitely  _ his pride, or his previous state of intoxication, but the farmer had almost looked like he wanted to. Kiss him, that is. Which is completely ridiculous. Or was it? He had expected being turned down by Briar would be more, well, firm? He’d seemed so sure of himself when he told him he wasn’t his type before, so what gives?

Maybe… maybe he should just come clean. He’d already  _ ruined _ it anyway, and Briar deserved more than some drunken, half-assed confession, even if he wasn’t particularly looking for it. Alex would face his friend and just  _ be honest _ , no more running away, no more hiding. Briar was  _ his best friend _ , and it’d been so hard and lonely to try and sort through all of this on his own, and wasn’t that what friends were for? He could just--just tell him the truth, tell him he liked him, and that it was okay if Briar didn’t feel the same but he  _ needed him to know _ . He could help him through this, over it, and maybe they could be better for it. For Briar, Alex could be brave.

Steeling himself, he enters the living room to find it disappointingly empty, now that he’s psyched himself up. It’s an open floor plan, so he can see the kitchen, and he can  _ definitely  _ smell pancakes. His mouth waters, and he doesn’t realize how hungry he was until he’s sat at Briar’s round table, eagerly stuffing his face.

Out of the corner of his eye, he finds a neatly folded piece of paper with his name scrawled across it in Briar’s messy handwriting. He internally groans, because trying to read the farmer’s chicken scratch usually just leaves him with a headache, but reaches out for it anyway. His heart races as he tries to decipher it, but it’s shockingly… normal. Briar writes that he’s welcome to help himself to breakfast and a shower, and that he’d laid out a change of clothes and a toothbrush for him. He’d gone to check on his crops and animals, but would be back in a few hours. Alex glances up, skimming the walls for a clock and learning that it’s nearly 9:30, and since Briar wakes up at, like, 6 in the morning he’d likely be home soon. He quickly scarfs down the last few bites of his food and rushes to the bathroom, wanting to be done before the other came in. He tries to run a few lines through his mind, but he’s never told someone he’d liked them before and outside of movies and TV he’s not really sure what he’s supposed to say.

True to his word, Briar had left a change of clothes for him that fit him better than the pants that Alex still had at his house. They seem like they’d hang off Briar’s thinner frame, so he’s not sure why he even has them, but he’s thankful nevertheless because there’s no way the farmer would be able to take him seriously if he could see his belly button and his ankles. The shower wakes him up, and Briar has left him a brand new toothbrush out as well so he can thankfully be rid of the horrid taste in his mouth. He feels a little bit better upon leaving the bathroom, but all his anxieties come crashing back as soon as he spies Briar at the kitchen sink, cleaning up Alex’s dishes.

“Morning!” Briar greets, all sunshine and smiles, as if Alex hadn’t totally jeopardized their friendship last night. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m… not really sure yet,” he answers honestly. 

Briar hums under his breath, nodding as he rinses off the last utensil and then shuts off the faucet. “Well, that’s okay,” Briar says. “I let your grandparents know you were spending the night, but Evelyn looked worried.” He turns to face Alex, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms. “Those are your pants, by the way. I still need mine back, I only have a couple pairs of sweats,” he adds, giving Alex a pointed look. “I haven’t had this much trouble getting my clothes returned since I dated girls.” The farmer laughs at his own joke, and Alex feels obliged to join, lest the numerous questions he suddenly has about Briar’s dating history come pouring out. 

Alex hadn’t exactly expected Briar to be the one to bring up what had happened last night--he’s much to gracious to embarrass Alex this early in the morning, after all--but he had still prepared himself for, well,  _ something _ . The guy was acting like Alex  _ hadn’t  _ begged him to let him suck his face last night. He was doing such a good job of it, in fact, that Alex was beginning to doubt himself. Like it had just been some bad dream they could both just forget about. It’s such an easy out, right there, opened just for him. He’d be an idiot not to take it.

But if Alex was anything, it was an idiot.

So he sighs, throws away his pride, and meets Briar’s eyes. He thinks maybe they should sit or something, because they’re both just standing around the kitchen, but sitting across from each other at the dining table seems dauntingly awkward. Alex jerks his thumb over his shoulder, motioning at the living room. “Can we talk for a minute?” he asks, because even though Briar’s a good host, he probably has work to do today.

He thinks he sees the other boy pale a little, and maybe his smile falters, but he reigns it in with impressive speed. “Of course.”

Alex follows him to the sitting area, and is immediately met with a dilemma when Briar sits down on the loveseat. He could sit there, next to him, or he could sit in the lone armchair. He should… sit close to him, right? Intimacy was all about contact, after all. Or that’s what Alex assumed at least. But he  _ also  _ didn’t want to make him uncomfortable if Briar turned him down. He can almost imagine Briar scooting away from him, attempting to put distance between them, and even the thought of it hurts so he decides the armchair’s his best bet.

Aaaand he took much too long to make that decision, and Briar is eying him with concern, so he rushes over to sit himself down, half-tripping over the coffee table and mostly falling into his seat. He tries to be casual about it, to make it look like he did it on purpose as he arranges himself clumsily in the chair, but he’s pretty sure the farmer isn’t fooled. “You know, you’ve always been a little, uh, inelegant, bud, but this is starting to get ridiculous,” Briar says, worry apparent in his gaze. “Are you ready to tell me what’s  _ really  _ been bothering you?”

“Yeah,” Alex breathes, giving up the ruse and sitting up straight. His back is much too rigid, and his hands are curled into stiff fists in his lap, but it’s at the very least more natural. He sucks in a nervous gasp of oxygen, then raises his eyes to meet Briar’s. “I-I’m really sorry about last night,” he starts. 

Briar’s already waving him off, one hand brushing through the air nonchalantly. “Aw, come on, don’t worry about it,” he says. “ _ I’ve _ done plenty of regrettable things while inebriated. I think, as long as no one gets hurt, it’s all good,” Briar adds, giving Alex a comforting smile.

“No, I--” Alex gulps, finding it hard to keep his gaze steady. “I-I’m  _ sorry _ that… that that’s how it happened. I don’t  _ regret  _ it.” Well, maybe a little, but he was honest about it being more about the  _ way  _ he went about it than, well,  _ it _ . “I meant what I said. When I asked to kiss you,” he adds in a rush, because he suddenly realizes that Briar might not even be talking about the rejection, but him being drunk in general. “I-I’ve been thinking about it, like,  _ a lot _ , and I wasn’t gonna say anything because, well, you know,” he makes a vague gesture at Briar, and then himself, not entirely sure what he was trying to get across there but hoping the farmer picked up on it nevertheless. He doesn’t think he does, considering the way his eyebrows shoot up to hide under his bangs. “I think that I really… that I really like you, and it’s okay if you don’t see me like that, but I just thought you deserved more than some drunken, half-assed confession so I figured I’d get the story straight.” He feels a bit out of breath at this point, so he stops and waits.

Briar doesn’t provide him much in ways of a reaction. He looks mostly confused, which Alex doesn’t think is fair considering the circumstances, he must’ve expected  _ something  _ after last night. Then again, one of Alex’s few skills was avoiding confrontation, so maybe he really hadn’t. He’s still staring at Alex, but it’s in a way that feels like he doesn’t actually  _ see  _ him, as if he were lost in thought and Alex just happened to be in his field of vision. “Come on, dude,” Alex begs after a few agonizing moments of silence. “It’s--I’m gonna be  _ fine _ no matter what you say, just… let’s just have this stupid conversation so we can go back to normal.”   
  


The farmer lets out a short, startled laugh at that, finally looking away, towards the floor. He runs a hand through his hair, and Alex watches the way he pauses at his nape to tug the strands between his fingers. “I don’t really know what to say,” he finally admits quietly.

Shit, it wasn’t like  _ Alex  _ knew any better. “Tell me I’m not your type!” he demands, feeling heat flood to his cheeks. Whether from embarrassment or indignation, he’s not sure. “Or that you’re dating Shane, or you only go for rich guys, I don’t care.” He throws his arms up, feeling rather exasperated. Seriously, he shouldn’t have to reject  _ himself _ , that was just cruel. “Just say  _ something _ so I can get over it.”

Briar frowns. “Is that why you were so upset that day?” he asks, and Alex knows immediately he’s referring to the day after the Flower Dance. “Because you thought I wasn’t attracted to you?”

“That’s normal!” Alex argues, though he has no evidence over whether that’s true or not. “It’s normal to be-- _ bummed  _ over someone telling you that you don’t have a chance before you even knew you  _ wanted  _ one or not,” he clarifies. His face feels unbearably hot at this point, and he doesn’t know how Briar’s being so blase about this. “Like, even before I knew I liked you, I knew you were good-looking.”

Briar’s lips twitch, like he’s stopping himself from smiling. “You called me pretty last night,” he mentions, and Alex groans because  _ ugh _ , he  _ knows _ . “I think you’re pretty, too.”

_ Oh _ . Well, he’s not psyched to be called  _ pretty _ \--he thinks he would’ve preferred handsome or hot or something, but he’s still ridiculously pleased that Briar had complimented him at all, even though he’s sensing some mixed signals. “R-really?” He sounds like some middle school girl, begging the most popular boy in class for affirmation. It’s  _ humiliating _ , but he can’t stop himself.

“Yes,” Briar says, almost a whisper. “I think you’re attractive and funny and clever. I think you’re one of my favorite people,” he admits, and Alex’s heart just about stops in his chest. “I think I  _ wanted  _ to kiss you last night, but I  _ know  _ we shouldn’t go there.”

_ There it was _ . “Why?”

The farmer’s face twists into something strange, a mixture of apprehension and bitterness. “Because you’re my best friend and I don’t want to  _ ruin  _ it,” Briar says.

Alex knows, logically, this should be the point where he accepts his loss. Not wanting to ruin their friendship was precisely  _ why  _ he didn’t want Briar to find out to begin with. That Briar was also worried about that, well, it had to mean something, right? “Do you… like me?” he asks, deciding to just throw it out there. What could he really mess up at this point, anyway? He’s likely wrecked this already, might as well go 100%.

“Alex…”

“Without thinking about  _ anything else _ ,” Alex adds. “Just… please, simplest terms. Yes or no?”

Briar lets out a long sigh, falling back into the couch and throwing his hands over his face. “ _ Yes _ ,” he hears the farmer answer. And he’s kind of glad he’s not looking at him, because Alex is  _ cheesing  _ now, his grin stretched wide. It’s probably okay to move closer now, he figures, so he does, switching over to the couch and reaching out to touch Briar’s arm.

An amethyst eye peeks out at him between the farmer’s fingers. “Are you… sure?” he asks, not really believing this is happening.

Briar drops his arms to shove at him lightly. “Of  _ course  _ I do,” he groans, as if he’s put out by the fact. “You’re built like a goddamn Avenger.”

Alex is pretty sure that’s a superhero reference or something, so he’ll take it as praise. “What now?” he asks with uncertainty, because  _ what now _ ? Alex hadn’t thought he’d get this far. “Are we dating?”

“I think we should take this slow,” Briar says, “Just to make sure it’s what yo--what we want.”

“Oh. Okay.” Alex guesses he could live with that. He glances at the clock, realizes it’s close to 11 at this point and his grandparents are likely wondering where he is. He doesn’t really want to leave it at this, but Briar had said slow so slow they’d go. Alex isn’t dense enough not to realize it’s probably for Alex’s benefit, but decides not to bring it up. “I… I’m really happy you feel the same, Briar,” he says quietly. Honestly,  _ happiness  _ doesn’t even feel appropriate for what he’s feeling. The word seems too little. It’s the only one he can think of, though.

That gets the farmer to smile a little. “Me too,” he says before standing, offering Alex a hand. “You should head home before your grandparents start to worry.” Yoba, it’s like he’s a mind-reader. If Briar hadn’t just been caught so off-guard by him, Alex would assume he had ESP or something.

He nods and reaches for Briar’s outstretched hand, allowing the other boy to pull him up. Instead of letting him go, however, Briar walks him to the door with their fingers interlocked. Alex feels almost sickeningly giddy. They pause at the door for a moment, just kind of looking at each other, and Alex wants to ask if he could kiss him, but Briar had said  _ slow _ so he restrains himself. Instead, he gives the farmer’s hand a squeeze before he releases him to turn the knob.

He’s barely stepped outside the frame when he feels Briar pull him back by his arm, and Alex opens his mouth to ask what’s up and is caught by total surprise when the farmer tilts his head to press his lips against his own.

It’s Alex’s first kiss, and it probably shows with the way his mouth hangs half-open and his eyes blow wide, but it’s also  _ amazing _ . He’d always called bullshit on the whole fireworks, butterflies-in-your-stomach thing, and it’s not  _ quite that  _ but it’s… something. Like lightning coursing through his veins and fire crackling under his skin. It’s over before Alex can even really react, and the Briar’s pushing him the rest of the way out the door, telling him he’d see him later.

He’s left staring at the wood blankly. He raises one hand to his mouth, pressing his fingers to his lips. More than anything, he wants to do that again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JFC this was SO HARD TO GET OUT. I don't know why. I'm sorry.


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been like a year, but CA made an update so I guess I’m obligated.

Nine:

“You’re the stupidest fuck I’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing,” Shane tells Briar on the pier of Cindersap Forest, crushing an empty beer can in his fist. He places it between them before reaching for another. “The boy scout,” the older man scoffs.

“And you’re the most supportive friend a guy could ask for,” the farmer deadpans. Not that he was necessarily expecting support--he knew Shane far too well for that--but he and Alex’s blatant dislike of each other was getting old fast. “Seriously, what’s the deal with you two? I’ve never even seen you have a conversation before the Luau, but it’s like you hate each other.”

Another deep, dissatisfied noise from Shane. “I don’t care about him enough to hate him,” he mutters. Briar feels skeptical, and it must show on his face, because he continues, “He just--I don’t know. Rubs me the wrong way. Everything that comes out of his mouth is dumb as hell, and all he seems to care about is sports and girls, and I don’t know why you would even associate with some moron who could barely graduate high school, and is yet somehow convinced he’s going to get scouted in a small ass town like--”

“Jeez,” Briar has to cut him off. “You only say that stuff because you don’t really know him,” he points out. “He’s--he’s nice, and he’s funny, and once you get past that initial frat boy awkwardness he’s really very sweet--”

“You realize you're totally falling for a straight virgin right?” Shane points out, like it isn’t totally obvious. “I’m… I know I’m not in a position to give anyone any credible life advice, but I am saying this as your friend; you’re going to get hurt, Briar. He might not mean it like that, but it’s going to happen.”

Briar frowns down at his own can. He knows. He’s known since he fucking met him, and yet… perhaps Alex could be worth that hurt. Sure, Briar knows heartbreak, and while he is in no sense masochistic enough to actively go looking for it, is familiar with the pain it brings and--he can handle it. Has handled it, for people half as gracious as Alex. Wouldn’t it feel worse to miss it? “He called me pretty last night,” he mentions suddenly, and Shane scowls at the small smile it brings to his face. “He makes me happy,” he says.

Shane lets out a long sigh and sips at his beer. For a long time, neither of them say anything. Briar’s almost startled when the other man speaks again, so softly that Briar almost misses it. “I’ll still be here, you know.”

“What?”

Shane’s cheeks flush, and Briar is unsure if he’s embarrassed or if it's the alcohol. “You’re an idiot,” Shane tells him, “But if this goes down badly, I’m still gonna be in your corner, so…” He sets a heavy glare on him that seems totally mismatched to his words, and yet still manages to warm Briar to his core. “Be fucking stupid or happy or whatever, and just be careful, alright?”

It’s all so sickeningly sweet, Briar fears he might throw up. Instead, he laughs freely, flinging an arm around his friend’s shoulder despite his protests and loudly declares, “Aw! You do love me!”  
\--

With everything that’s happened, Alex had actually forgotten his birthday was coming up until that very morning, when Evelyn greets him with his favorite breakfast and a cupcake with a lit candle stuck in it. Whatever expression he’s wearing manages to make his grandmother laugh. “Happy birthday, dear,” she says, and he stoops down so that she can plant a kiss on his cheek. “You’re growing into such a wonderful young man. Your grandfather and I are just so proud, and I know your mother would be too.” Her eyes get all sparkly the way they do whenever she brings up his mom, so Alex quickly wraps her up in a hug.

“Thanks, granny. It means a lot.” He means it. It couldn’t have been easy--taking him in, raising him in what should have been her years to finally relax and let go. Alex knows he’ll never be able to truly make it up to her, but he can’t find the words to express it. Instead, he releases her to sit at the table. He could show her how much he appreciated the food, at least. He goes to blow out his candle first, but pauses. He’s never put too much thought into the whole wish thing before, but… it couldn’t hurt, right? He takes a few more minutes to properly phrase the wording in his head, and then nods to himself and blows it out with confidence before digging in. 

His grandfather speaks up from the opposite side of the table. “Twenty, huh?” he says gruffly. Alex pauses mid-bite. “Isn’t it about time you start thinking about a real plan?” Evelyn elbows George and whispers something that Alex can’t hear, but it makes grandpa add with a scowl, “Not that there’s any rush, but keep the future in mind, son.”

Right. The future. 

Breakfast is finished without much else in the ways of conversation, aside from his grandmother asking him about his plans. Truthfully, he doesn’t have any, but he tells her not to wait up. He’s hopeful, after all. Even if it’s only been a day and a half, it’s his first birthday with… whatever Briar was to him now. He thanks his grandparents again before heading out into the summer heat. Usually, he doesn’t tend to do a whole lot on this day. Hang out with Haley, catch a game in Zuzu, maybe go out for dinner. Nothing ever particularly exciting, but that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy it.

It’s still early enough, however, that he’s surprised Haley’s already waiting for him outside. “Well hello there, birthday boy,” she practically croons. She smiles widely at him, in an eerily good mood even given the day. It’s all rather… suspicious.

He squints his eyes at her, distrustful. “Hello yourself, weirdo.” She sticks her tongue out at him, but her eyes are still carrying that damned twinkle. When he notices her outfit, his wariness grows. “Please explain why you’re in your high school cheer uniform.”

Haley gives him a twirl, all joviality, and Alex scowls. “It still fits me perfectly, you know.”

“Well, it’s only been two years, so--”

“We’re wasting your birthday!” Haley cries, ignoring him entirely, to which Alex winces. Why is she so loud so early?

“The bus doesn’t even come until, like ten--”

Again, like he hadn’t spoken at all, Haley grabs him by the wrist and forcibly tugs him along, in the opposite direction on the bus stop. At this point, Alex figures it’s best to just not question it. Haley clearly had something planned, and she didn’t want to fill him in, so, really, what else could he do? Haley was an unstoppable force, and Alex was anything but an immovable object. She drags him all the way to her own house, through the door, and it’s unreasonably quiet for 9AM. Emily was always messing around on her workbench around now, but the blue-haired girl was nowhere to be found. He opens his mouth to ask where she went, but quickly decides against it. It must be part of the surprise, or whatever.

Haley directs him to the couch where he sits himself down, and then disappears into her room, returning momentarily with a box wrapped in pink, glittery paper and adorned with an oversized white bow. Alex makes a face, but Haley only rolls her eyes, handing him the blindingly feminine-looking gift. “Open it, stupid.”

Feeling only a little hesitant, he tears into it, finding… a shoebox. He raises a brow at Haley, but she only nods for him to continue, so he lifts the cover, finding what had to have been an expensive pair of cleats. He recognizes the brand, endorsed by some of his favorite gridball players, and his mouth falls agape. “Aw, Hale… these are great, but you know I don’t really… you didn’t have to spend so much on--”

“Try them on!” Alright, looked like she wasn’t done pretending that he couldn’t speak. Still, he can’t help the smile that comes to his face as he kicks off his old sneakers (while ignoring Haleys exaggerated “ew!” and pinching of her nose), and hurriedly removes the papers from the toes of his present. They’re a perfect fit after he adjusts the laces, and he hops up to stand and rolls around on the balls of his feet, attempting to break them in. “They look good,” Haley says.

He gives her a grin. “They feel good. Thank you.” They do. Maybe he doesn’t have a chance of really playing anymore, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do it for fun. And it was nice to have good things for fun. 

“You’re welcome.” An actual answer, for the first time this morning. “Let’s get going.” She scoops up a large gym bag that she’d brought out with his present and heads towards the door. Alex bangs his knee on the coffee table to keep up with her.

“Ow--go where?” he asks, to which Haley blows him a raspberry, holding the door open for him as he limps over. After she closes it, he follows her right, towards Marnie’s ranch. His stomach does a funny flop when she leads him north, towards Briar’s. “I didn’t make plans with him today--I can’t just show up,” Alex argues, finally digging his heels in both figuratively and literally. When Haley turns to scowl at him, he adds, “Besides, unless you have a machete or something, you’re not gonna wanna go this way.”

“I knew I should’ve blindfolded you,” she says. “Listen, just relax, okay? For five minutes? Just trust me.”

Alex heaves a sigh and nods. Haley smiles at him, proceeds to lead him to whatever awaited them, and Alex is shocked when there’s… a path. Perfectly manicured, and obviously recently used, wide enough for at least two people to walk side by side. And then, much sooner than he could have expected, an open field, devoid of pastures or crops or orchids. Only two makeshift posts set maybe 20 yards or so from each other, a few coolers, the making of a large bonfire and seemingly every person close to his age in town, who upon his arrival scream in unison, “Happy Birthday!”

What? Alex looks behind him, as if there was another person who was supposed to be here having a birthday today, but sees no one. He turns back around wide-eyed because—what? Alex didn’t think most of the people here knew his last name, nevermind his date of birth, and yet they all stare at him expectantly with wide, genuine smiles. In the crowd, he spots a mop of messy, black hair, and then Briar jumps up, grinning freckled face popping up behind Harvey’s shoulders, and waves. 

And Alex laughs. And laughs and laughs. A… surprise birthday party? No ones ever done this for him before! What could he have possibly done to earn this? He steps forward, scooping up Haley in his arms in a bear hug. “How’d you pull this off? This is incredible. Are we actually playing gridball? Those are goals, right?”

“I’m glad you like it so much, but this actually wasn’t my idea,” Haley corrects, wriggling out of his grasp. Like he was summoned, Briar pops out of the crowd and jogs the few paces over to them. 

“Surprise!” he cries, like Alex can’t see it. He exchanges greetings with Haley before she drifts off to mingle, and then says to Alex with his voice lowered, “Uh, this was planned before the other day, obviously, but I totally get if it’s too much or too weird and you want to—”

Alex probably shouldn’t kiss him in front of all these people, right? But he really, really wants to. Instead, he just whispers, “It’s perfect.”


End file.
